Shit happens

Din seria de articole legendare, alaturi de definitia Troll-ului, povestea BOFH-ului, a Urbanului (romanesc), inca unul, nu mai putin vechi:

GHOST SHIT - That's the kind of shit where you feel the shit come out, have shit on the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet.

CLEAN SHIT - The kind of shit that you let out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET SHIT - The kind of shit where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you don't get a brown stain.

SECOND WAVE SHIT - It happens when you've done shitting, you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and then you realize you have to shit some more.

BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT or the POP A VEIN IN YOUR FOREHEAD SHIT - The kind of shit where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

RICHARD SIMMONS SHIT - The kind of shit where you shit so much that you lose 40 pounds.

CORN SHIT - Self explanatory.

LINCOLN LOG SHIT - The kind of shit that is so huge you are afraid to flush the toilet without breaking it up into pieces with the brush.

DRINKERS SHIT - That is the kind of shit that you have in the morning after a long night of drinking - Its mostly noticeable trait is the treadmarks on the bottom of the toilet.

"GEE,I WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT - The kind of shit where you want to shit, but all you do is sit on the toilet cramped and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP SHIT - The kind where it hurts so much coming out, that you'd swear that it came out sideways.

WET CHEEKS SHIT or POWER DUMP - The kind of shit where it comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilets water.

LIQUID SHIT - The kind of shit where yellowish brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, The whole time chronically burning your tender anus.

MEXICAN FOOD SHIT - A class all of its own....

ICEBERG SHIT - The kind where the shit is so long that the end of it sticks above the water

SQUID SHIT - That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splatters all over the inside of the toilet bowl, the whole time chronically burning your tender buns

THE OTTOMAS SHIT - The kind where the odor of the mess creeps out of the restroom and throughout the building to make the entire building sick or near evacuation. (This has been noted in several bowling alleys in the past few years)

POPCORN AND PEANUT SHIT: (Related To The Corn Shit Family) When you shit and can actually feel the Popcorn, Peanuts, and any other foreign objects.

THE SLOW AS MOLASSES SHIT: People who will sit on the toilet for 2 to 3 hours and grunt, groan, fart, and curse because it takes so long. ( It usually ends up to be a huge fart at most.)

SPEED SHITTERS: People who can walk to the bathroom, and in less than 30 seconds, can shit, wipe, and be gone!

SHRIVELED DRY SHIT: The kind where you sit there and squeeze until your stomach feels like it's coming out of you ass and the shit is so dried up it feels like broken glass sliding through your ass.

THE I'M BUSY SHIT: Where you are trying to do something (like call a BBS) and you don't want to take the time to go shit, so you hold it as long as possible and then run like a screaming maniac to the bathroom and tear you pants off jump on the toilet and it flies out in 4 seconds flat making a loud fart noise and slashing your buns with water.

JALAPENO SHIT: The kind of shit where you eat HOT jalapenos all day then scream the whole time in the bathroom because it feels like someone has a flame-thrower up your ass and your shit comes out like red-orange mushy clay.

THE 'I THINK I HAVE TO SHIT' SHIT: This is where you feel like you have to shit but when you try the feeling goes away then as soon as your back doing what you where doing before it happens again.

PEBBLES SHIT : the kind of shit where you try for hours to squeeze it out and all that happens is one tiny little black pebble comes out!

INTERRUPTED SHIT - This is the kind where you're in the bathroom halfway through with your shit and all of a sudden the doorbell rings or the phone rings and you have to squeeze your ass muscles to either hurry the shit along or cut it off in mid shit.

THE 'I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE SHIT' SHIT: This is where you feel like you have to shit but it's not so noticeable that you go, then you get in the car to go somewhere and as soon as you get down the block you say to yourself, 'I knew I should have gone shit!!'.. What happens after that is unpredictable!!

THE NIAGRA FALLS SHITTER: This is the type of person who was born with diarrhea and still has it. They sit down and it shoots out like a dam that broke wide open. The worst part is when you have to go next and the toilet is unspeakable and there is no toilet paper left to use.